Beating Approach Anxiety - So Easy A Caveman Can Do It

I’ve had a few questions about approach anxiety recently. Of course being married I don’t really have approach anxiety anymore, but my wife has it – usually if I return from an adult store with a mysterious black bag. She becomes quite anxious when I walk up to her with a bag that may or may not contain; a 14 inch dildo, industrial strength nipple clamps, enema kits (actually I can filch those from work) or funky condoms that look like they could double as mining equipment but are advertised as “for her pleasure”. She’s always relived to just see a magazine or a video.

Acutally I find playing a porn video with the sound all the way off an excellent way to create an instant “man cave” in the basement and gain compliance with my wife keeping children out from under foot when exercising. The kids used to want to come down and watch me or dick around with 2 pound weights etc and generally ruin my routines. I’m down there becoming buff slowly but surely and wifey has given clear thumbs up to progress to date.

Anyway I digress – approach anxiety.

Back in The Time Before Writing, walking up to a fertile woman would have more than likely drawn the attention of the AMOG (Alpha Male Of the Group). I’m not talking about the high school quarterback here either; I’m talking about a pissed off thug with body scars and a nasty pointed stick.

So imagine you are the young warrior Throg walking up to Salette with a piece of meat you want to offer her… and some gazelle that you just killed. That’s absolutely going to get the attention of Sal who is the mean bastard running the show but a little bit older than you and got a slight limp from that time a lion tried to make off with a baby. So as you walk across the camp to Salette with the gazelle, everybody knows what the hell is going down, and Sal stands up and starts walking towards you with his nasty pointed stick and a scowl. So young Throg, you got two choices.

1. FIGHT Sal and either lose and be badly hurt, or win and Salette becomes Throgette

2. FLIGHT run the frak away and try not to cry like a bitch.

As you walk across the camp towards Salette, your pulse is going to evaluate, blood pressure increase, palms sweat and time is going to pass slowly as all your senses gear up for either combat or running.

So fast forward to today. You’re in a social gathering and across the room is Sally. She’s gorgeous and sexy. There are a couple other guys in the room interested in Sally. As you walk towards her your pulse is going to elevate, blood pressure increase, palms sweat and time is going to pass slowly as all your senses gear up for either combat or running. Except the other guys don’t have spears and if it gets violent the cops get called and they go to jail for a breather. Seems stupid now doesn’t it. But it feels 100% real.

Approach anxiety is nothing more that your Body Agenda preparing you to deal with a Time Before Writing AMOG that never comes. It’s all a terrible red herring to worry about. The solution is that when you see a girl you have interest in, to not even wait a second to make a move on her, just immediately plow ahead and introduce yourself and get the ball rolling. You do this to beat your body’s reaction time in getting the whole fight or flight / approach anxiety thing up to speed. You have about a 3 second window before it kicks in. The longer you wait the worse it is.

The flip side to this reaction is confidence. And well all know how the ladies love confidence and how sexy confidence is. The reason for this is simple and fundamental. When a man with confidence walks up to them and just starts talking, and isn’t displaying approach anxiety / fight or flight reactions… that can only mean one thing… he’s the AMOG! Only the AMOG would be able to just walk up to a woman and start a sexual interaction and not be worried about a guy with a pointed stick running at him. And women are very much turned on by Alpha Male approaches. That’s the way their Body Agenda is wired.

Again back in The Time Before Writing women had essentially no choice about who they had sex with. Salettes sexual options essentially boiled down to consensual sex with the winner of Throg vs Sal, or non-consensual sex with the winner of Throg vs Sal. The Time Before Writing is not a pretty place for a woman I confess. But it’s honestly not that much different now as clearly hair pulling still makes ginas tingle and romance novels are chock full of plot lines about how the darling Throg finally gets the evil Sal his comeuppance and somehow Throgette gets pushed up against a wall and just ravished by Throg on pages 87, 104, 127 through 132 and finally on 172.

The best solution – once again this point is so frakking critical to nearly everything if you’re a couch potato unhappy with your sex life – is attention to physical fitness and even picking up a martial art if you have to. The purpose is that by increasing physical ability, you are convincing your own Body Agenda that you can survive a physical fight with a Time Before Writing AMOG or at least make it enough of a pain in the ass to fight you that the imaginary AMOG doesn’t force a fight.

So physical fitness, maybe a martial art if you really must, realize that your body reaction is just a Time Before Writing holdover and ignore it, and just make a frakking move before the approach anxiety kicks in. Just make approaches until you realize that it’s all just pre-performance butterflies and completely normal.

Go. Don’t think. Just go.