Most discussion of Alpha and Beta Males see the relationship between them to be polar opposites. In other words, you are either an Alpha Male, or a Beta Male, with not much in between the two. Occasionally you get a reference to an Omega Male who is so terrible at everything that he falls below even the lowest of Betas. The ranking looks like this, and the stereotypical sex life is displayed as well.
However as I’ve said before, I see Alpha Male and Beta Male, as not simply a fixed status, but as a collection of traits. Having nothing but only one set of either traits, nets you the stereotypical “Alpha Male” or “Beta Male”. In truth most of us have some Alpha and some Beta in us, but it’s not a zero sum game.
The Alpha Traits are the more traditional and physically based traits. Size, strength, fitness, aggression, violence, dominance, beauty, health, confidence, fearlessness, daring, hand eye co-ordination, speed etc are all skills and abilities that are simply excellent for survival as a small tribal group on the ancient savannah. Display of these skills generates a seemingly hardwired sexual attraction response in women. On some level we are still approaching sex wired exactly the same as we were 10,000+ years ago.
The Beta Traits are the more modern and socially based traits. Size and strength matter less and less in the modern age. Skill with paperwork is the key to income in most fields. Violence is no longer a tool for social advancement, but results in becoming a social outcast or jailed. What matters in the modern age is the ability to keep calm, sociable, nice, patient, verbal, kind, clever, cuddly, soothing, diplomatic, kid friendly and emotionally available. It’s ideal for working in cubicles and service industries. This is what women need from a modern partner to establish a working relationship to create a home and have an income in order to raise children. Without this support, women become deeply uncomfortable and this can short circuit sexual desire.
As you can see, the Alpha Traits and the Beta Traits are worlds apart. But as I say, these are not opposite skill sets. What I suggest is the true format, is outlined in the image below.
The Omega Male is easiest to dispense with. He’s just devoid of positive qualities and only the most desperate of women would desire to mate with him. Even then he’ll likely need up being supported by her to some degree. Avoid him.
The pure Alpha Bad Boys certainly do pull the women, but the relationships tend to be short as eventually the women become uncomfortable with the lack of comfort building support. There’s plenty of excitement, and sizzling sex as the attraction is definitely there for her, but she knows from the beginning its not going to last, but she is drawn to him anyway.
The pure Beta Nice Guy also pull women, but they pull differently. They “make sense” on an intellectual level and they are very comfortable to live with. More than likely they are too comfortable, and the woman tends to want to see a display of dominance of some sort before she becomes fully attracted to him. Ultimately the nice guys are just too sexually boring to women to remain completely focused on one. Queue the “I love you, but I’m not in love with you speech”.
What is often seen in young women is ping ponging between bad boys and nice guys – she gets a dose of crazy sexual attraction from the bad boy, but then she needs the comfort building and she seeks it from a nice guy, and then the cycle repeats over and over until the music stops around age 35 and she’s scrambling to find a chair anywhere.
The ideal is the Gamma Male. Not often talked about, but they are out there. Usually a Gamma is an Alpha Male that “grew up” and toned down the antics slightly and started being socially conscious and more of a team player. Or they started as a Beta Male that “grew a pair” and started bumping back on the rest of the world rather than just taking it lying down. Either way works as a route. Like Jean-Luc Picard, Gammas use diplomacy but when required to they will respond with adept force. Mostly they are consciously aware of both their own natures, and the needs of women. They adjust on the fly to the situation, sometimes hard, sometimes soft.
Gamma’s are the true ideal, but I think the Alpha and Beta terms are so ingrained, that it is simply easier to broken record the idea that if you’re too Alpha the solution is to add Beta, and if you’re too Beta the solution is to add Alpha.
You already know what your weak area is. Work on that for easy gains.
Picard didn't get laid very much on the shows... but you telling me he couldn't if he wanted to?
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